De spirit roaming, hear, said Gran-gran. Not a duppy, the Spirit. Was roaming since I was a little girl in Bellaire and had a dream about my husband, Lord knows I too love my Thomas.

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I was sitting on a step in Bellaire, where Bay live now, when he pass by on one of them big old-time bicycles and as he look left and see me on my step sitting down he nearly ride into Ms Doris fence. I was sweet back in them days, yuh know! Pretty, pretty hair. It silver now but back then it was jet-black and curly and long. There was a white woman from cross de road that too love me. My hair used to be tie up pretty, pretty in a nice white bow- and you know how them women love a half-white, pretty little girl! People too foolish. But Thomas, man he tip his hat, real low, like a real gentleman- and my heart catch a lil’, it jump and brush my tongue, then it slide right back down where it come from; tongue and heart tie in a tight little bow. Well, I keep my mouth shut but my eyes start peeking lil’ bit. He was wearing one of them top hats, a broad rim brown one- and he just smile and nod and he had to keep on riding ‘cause I was a lady, yuh know?

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He ride pass me every day since then, and then one evening he say “Good afternoon Miss, Gibson”. Of course he know my name ‘cause everybody in Bellaire know ‘bout the Gibson girls, proper ladies. I remember your great aunt used to sit in the gallery waiting to usher him out and telling me ‘bout getting pregnant from kissing- and I was twenty-one! Back in them days little girls and boys could run ‘bout naked and see each other tings yuh know, and it wasn’t nuffin’ vulgar. Yuh might pull at somebody but yuh know how foolish we used to be, thinking ‘bout getting pregnant from kissing and ting. And you know I was a virgin but Thomas... man he too sweet. Nice and dark, skin black, black and pretty. When Yvonne born people used to say I was wid some coolie man because she come out dark with silky straight dark hair- them in know ‘bout genetics back in them days. People want the Lord, but I ain’ love nobody but my Thomas- we get married 14th February 1935. He was a carpenter, 25 years old and I was 22 years old, a young midwife; we ain had much yuh know and some of the people was vex because they used to say a “high-yellow” girl like me could marry better and go way to live like the rest, but my mother ask me if I love him and that was that. I don’t regret nothing.

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He take up with this woman in Trinidad when he went there looking for work. You know everybody went way in them times to get a ‘lil job; his father work on the Canal too. He had a woman down in Trinidad, and when Ette (you know you great aunt right?) went Arima to stay at a friend she hear ‘bout it; that Thomas take up with a Trini woman. She went and she find out and ain’ tell me nothing- was down there by that woman and ain’ tell me one thing. But you know I hear ‘bout it, and she quarrel wid him and quick so he back up here. We had it hot, quarrel bad bad and ting; it was rough. He tell me how he sorry and how he gine keep sending money and asking ‘bout the children, there were four by this time; well you know Yvonne, your grandmother, she’s the second; oldest is Patricia, third is Gloria and Hampden is the last. Man he promise me too much, bless he soul, but then he was back in Trinidad with that woman. Too bewitch. He was still a decent man, still used to send money for the children. He would make sure to send to provide for me and the children- but we had a big argument. I send that letter one time, asking how he could leave, just so. But never again after that, pride yuh know? And he was sorry but... man he was too bewitch.

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I went to Trinidad for his funeral, that’s the only reason I would go down there. Your grandmother and the rest had went already, to meet them half-sisters and dem. I couldn’t be vex at the woman though, she din know ‘bout me and the children. Hamp was a young man then, I remember he make sure he was at the front holding de coffin when it come out. He there standing upright like a proper man, a big man, just like he father. And you know I does cry real quick. I too love my Thomas. To this very day, I still love him.

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Yvette and Hamp and everybody grow up nice, nice people, and look at you daddy and Patrick and your aunts and them. Grow up nice and doing well for themselves. Thomas build this house from scratch, first wall house in Bridgecot; and all the land behind there? We save and buy it, used to plant canes out back.

But, yuh got a boyfriend yet?

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Yuh ain’ got a lil’ friend? Wuh bout de fella you tell me ‘bout...

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Doan worry hear, just trust in the Lord and keep faith and diligence and everything will be all right. Keep yuh head in dem school books but don’t let the books turn yuh foolish. Keep yuh legs shut and doan leh nuh boys go pulling at nuffin. Yuh know know them too love poking them penis in tings- and tings does happen to make yuh belly start swelling, yuh know!

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But try and get married before I pass way. Yuh know my birthday coming up, one hundred years on God’s green earth- the Lord is good. I too thankful, too happy and grateful for everything he give me; I don’t want for nothing.

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And Dessa, stop worrying ‘bout the past...de Holy Spirit always roaming; just don’t mistake It for a duppy when It trying to bless your soul.